Saturday, 6 March 2010

Weapons of the Uber-Awesome

Sometimes when you want a guy dead you want to do it in the most mind-bendingly awesome way possible with a weapon that will make your enemy's long distance relatives spontaneously wet themselves. But right now your warrior has to make do with a lumpy broadsword made out of troll fillings that you deperately want the wizard to enchant, but he's been a douche about it because you used his staff for firewood.

Well fear not for I have forced my less-than-minimum-wage paid minions to spend the night in the forge creating a bunch of kick-ass and game breaking weapons for you to have fun with.

Greatsword of Pegasus Wings Dice: 6, Str:21, Dex: 18

This doozy has two wings that shoot out of it on command to a) confuse the crap out of that Orc, and b) allow you to hang on for dear life as you soar through the air. Weee! When you want to summon the wings you much cry: "Wings!" If anyone tried to be a smartarse by replying: "I can't see Paul McCartney anywhere," the sword with unleash a Take That you Fiend on whoever said it. Treat flight the same as Fly Me, except the duration is an hour.

Fairy Skewer (Medium Self Bow) Dice: 4 (or 60 against fairies), Str: 15, Dex: 15

Fueled by the hatred of Navi from Ocarina of Time, our resident warlock enchanted this bow to enable it to destroy fairies. Man, that guy hates fairies. When firing at a fairy the bow always hits and does 60 dice of damage.

Worldcutter (Double bladed axe) Dice: 20+10, Str: 40 Dex: 15
Special damage: 6/Zappathingum


This is one big-ass axe. What's more is that if you roll 6 sixes the Worldcutter's damage dice are tripled.

Rock 'Ard Spear (Boar Spear) Dice: 4+2, Str: 13, Dex: 8
Special damage: 2/Medusa


When jammed into your enemy, the Rock 'Ard Spear has a chance of turning him to stone.

The Grim Reaper (Scythe) Dice: 4+2, Str: 30, Dex: 54
Special damage: 2/Death Spell #9


Stolen from Death himself (we really should find somewhere to hide), The Grim Reaper has a chance of instantly killing anything it damages.