Sunday 12 May 2013

So Johnny Storm just outed you as a racist nerd



You might have heard that Chronicle's Michael B. Jordan is in the running to play Johnny Storm in the upcoming Fantastic Four reboot. I still haven't seen Chronicle, so I can't comment on his acting ability, but I do know it was a well-received flick so chances are it's not going to be below par. However, I do know that Jordan is, and be prepared to gasp in horror, black. For some reason some people (read: racists) aren't taking kindly to these race-swapping shenanigans. After all, we all know that Johnny's character hinges on the fact that he's caucasian.

 Yes, it's that thing again where comic book nerds/closeted white supremacists crane their necks and take to the message boards to espouse their anger that their favourite superhero is getting spanked by the greasy hand of 'political correctness'. We saw it when there was a furore that Idris Elba was announced to play Heimdall in Thor, despite him being more than terrific. Or what about when Miles Morales took over the mantle of Spider-Man from Peter Parker in Ultimate Spider-Man? There was so much gnashing of teeth that attempting to read any comic-based forum was like looking at a cock fight where the cockerels are made purely of rottweiler maws.

And don't even try to make the 'argument' that "well, if Johnny Storm's going to be black, then make Luke Cage and Falcon white," because that's a bigger pile of shit than what Jeff Goldblum would endeavor to call "a big pile of shit". Minorities are under-represented in mainstream media - white people are all over the shop. Seriously, you can't chuck a baby at a film set without it skimming across the heads of 30 white people. I know - I've tried it.

I would love Donald Glover to be Spider-Man. I wouldn't care if James Bond were Chinese. I couldn't give a toss if Superman were Indian. Why do people think the colour of someone's skin is such a goddamn problem, especially in the comic book medium where literally anything can happen.

So, good luck to Jordan if he gets the role. Now can we talk about why Galactus was a cumulonimbus in Fantastic Four? And why Fantastic Four was worse than tickling a honey badger awake from the best nap of its life.

7 comments:

  1. My only concern is an odd one, actually - I'm suddenly worried that Sue *won't* be black, and that they'll either be siblings through adoption or not siblings at all, which would be odd or idiotic respectively. But no, I've got no problem with Jordan as Storm; he was good in Chronicle, and my sister says he was great in 'Friday Night Lights'; he seems good for the part.

    ...And now I'm annoyed, because Donald Glover as Miles Morales would have been a much more awesome movie than the 'Amazing Spider-Man' we got.

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  2. I'm cool with it as long as Sue is black.

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  3. And don't even try to make the 'argument' that "well, if Johnny Storm's going to be black, then make Luke Cage and Falcon white," because that's a bigger pile of shit than what Jeff Goldblum would endeavor to call "a big pile of shit". Minorities are under-represented in mainstream media - white people are all over the shop. Seriously, you can't chuck a baby at a film set without it skimming across the heads of 30 white people. I know - I've tried it.

    See, here's my problem: the only way you can get black superheroes on screen, it seems, is either by making them the White Dude's buddy (Iron Man, Captain America, etc) or by "racelifting" an existing white character. That's what ticks me off more than anything: the idea that there are so few PoC in comics that they have to take existing white characters and change them, and the implication that the few which DO exist are so outside the public eye that there's no way an audience would care.

    Idris Elba is awesome, but do you want to know why I HATED him as Heimdall (and, thus, why I hate Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm)? Because I wanted to see Idris Elba as Black Panther in a Black Panther movie. Black Panther, after all, is one of the greatest Marvel superheroes of them all, and he happens to be black - yet the closest we've gotten so far is a fleeting reference to Wakanda in Iron Man 2. We live in a world where it's far more likely for a black superhero to be cast as a former-white superhero as a secondary character in a white dude's movie, than to be the star of their own. It also implies that characters which started out black/asian/latino/etc aren't even capable of being as popular as white dudes, so instead of promoting existing black heroes with a substantial following, they just take a white dude and give him a dash of collour. It's insulting.

    Look at the Marvel cinematic universe so far.

    Iron Man: White Dude with a black buddy
    The Incredible Hulk: White Dude who occasionally turns into a Green Dude
    Iron Man 2: White Dude with a black buddy
    Thor: White Dude with a black buddy and asian buddy
    Captain America: White Dude
    The Avengers: White Dude, White Dude, White dude that turns into a Green Dude, white dude, white dude and white chick, with a black dude as their boss who isn't acknowledged as a proper member of the team

    THAT'S the problem: if a black/asian/dude/girl gets to be a superhero, it's only as a secondary character in a White Dude's movie. The only exceptions are those that, for whatever reason, aren't considered "proper" comic book movies, be they horror (Blade/Spawn), comedy (Hancock/Meteor Man) or a vanity project (Steel). It speaks volumes that we got a black Asgardian before we got Wakanda.

    ...And now I'm annoyed, because Donald Glover as Miles Morales would have been a much more awesome movie than the 'Amazing Spider-Man' we got.

    And a good black dude as John Stewart would've been a much more awesome Green Lantern, especially since there are a good number of GL fans who think JS is *the* Green Lantern.

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  4. I can agree with much of this post BUT it does NOT always boil down to simple racism by those that object. Make no mistake about it - there are plenty of people that will and do object for unsavory reasons - but many of the people objecting are also fans of the source material and are venting out some good old fashioned nerd rage. Remember the uproar when they made Starbuck a girl? I do and I recall many people just nerd raging over changing the gender from male to female. I never *personally* heard anyone voice any objections based on gender alone but that it was changed from the original source material. I want to be perfectly clear that I do not believe every objection is based on a change from the source material. There are plenty of close-minded assholes out there that do object for the wrong reasons BUT if you are a fan of the source material objecting to a change from that source material then it is most likely some good old fashioned nerd rage and nothing to do with racism at all.

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  5. Anyone remember Daredevil? The only bit worth going back for was the Kingpin. Excellent casting, and a wonderful performance.

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  6. I'm fairly sure the solution is to film Nextwave. It's Marvel, it has a black woman leading the team, it has fart jokes and hell, you could bleep out all the swear words for a lower rating /and the fans would love it/.

    Charlie Warren: You're right, some people are misogynist as well as or instead of being racist! Very few people - even on fucking Stormfront - object purely on the grounds of race or gender, they always appeal to the purity of the original work. It makes things annoying for people who do honestly care about not changing the original, but that's the problem with white supremacists - they take over legitimate arguments to legitimise themselves.

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    1. Well said! Yes, that is definitely a big issue because it seems everyone tends to get lumped together when they object. I might have been clearer in my explanation but I basically meant that "One should not be condemned as a racist for objecting to the change in Johnny Storm's ethnicity but for the [actual] reasoning BEHIND the objection."

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