"It's a massive shocker, but women don't need a knight in shining armour"
The term has entered a new era where, rightly so, it's worn with pride as a reflection of one's intellect and dedication to a subject. The slew of superhero movies like The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises that would have once been just the dream of comic-book fans now have the whole world enthralled and as a result the genre is now getting used to breaking box-office records. But when a once incredibly small and misunderstood subculture blows up like it has, there is the unfortunate side effect of elitism. The roleplaying hobby itself was historically a male-dominated world. Chainmail bikinis and helpless maidens were unfortunately the norm, but as the hobby grows and more females join, this mentality needs to change.
This shouldn't be restricted to the tabletop, either. There have recently been reports on Twitter about women running convention stands who have felt awkward and even violated when some men hung around them and crossed personal boundaries. It pains me to think that these guys belong to the same subculture as all the decent folk I'm friends with, and it's this attitude that's going to make women feel more alienated. The same goes for the misguided chivalry that's etched on the other side of the coin. If you're going out of your way to 'look after' a female player during a game then you're being condescending and probably ruining the game for her. I know it's a massive shocker, but women don't need a knight in shining armour, especially when they're playing a bad-ass paladin.
"It's obvious that sexism still hasn't been eradicated from the hobby"
Most of the guys I know are upstanding gents who don't act like huge jerks around women, but when I hear the type of things that have recently been tweeted, it's obvious that stereotypes and sexism still hasn't been eradicated from the hobby. Yes, Felicia Day is an attractive woman, but far, far more importantly she is an intelligent businessperson and a huge geek, just like you and me.
It's a nice thought that we are all equal in the eyes of gamers and geeks be they male or female. It isn't that men are being sexist, its the fact that a woman has the same interest. If this happens then men in general will leach towards that woman.
ReplyDeleteMen are men no matter where they are. If you go to a football game and there are women there of there own choice then men will talk to them. Same at gaming events. women are still few in comparison. men can not help themselves unless they make a concious choice.
When couples game i find that the male counterpart always plays a character that knows or has to defend their partner. it is just the way of the table. only the pair can make the change.
If a male player plays a female then no issues other than the male pcs want to have sex with that female players pc.
Men are basic. its the way we are. Sex and sexual humour is always on our minds.
If you say this is not so . then there is something wrong with me.
I like looking , talking and interacting with women. It will always be this way.
Unless i had a quick one off the wrist before I went out everyday. We are controled by the basest of functions. get passed that and we are really rather nice people
"Men are basic. its the way we are. Sex and sexual humour is always on our minds."
DeleteI know plenty of women who are the same.
you know what. maybe i should just keep out of this kinda debate. its a man vs woman thing and there is no wining on either side
ReplyDeletePeople can be jerks. I would say that isms of any sort never go away they just shrink. I game with and around women all the time and frankly I see as many isms coming from them as there are going towards them. Maybe I hang around a outstanding group of people or maybe most people have just moved on from these types of mindsets.
ReplyDeleteI do know that good people can be very jerky about damn near anything on a bad day. Most of the time its a indication of a bad day and less of a ism.
It does work both ways, but I think sexism is still a more prevalent problem and something that has been cropping up a lot recently.
DeleteI do agree with you though that some people are jerky because they had a bad day, but there are those who think they're doing the right thing, but are actually making the problem worse. They're not jerks, they just need educating.
If it is a issue in games its only one because people let it become one. I would stop any game I'm playing or running in that had someone acting badly towards another player. I will even go so far as to say if its in character and still makes a player feel bad the game gets stopped as well.
DeleteI have had this happen in the past with someone wanting to role play a bigot. What I told him was this: I don't care what you think your character would do,don't care what you want to role play. This is a group game as such you make it fun for everyone involved or you can't play. I wouldn't wait to see if someone else I think might be offended either. If its risky I end it. Some people might not feel comfortable standing up and making(a big deal)but would suffer quietly.
So once again. Evil or just bad behavior only grows when good people say nothing.
Now as far as Twitter or even posting online goes. People will say or do anything online for attention. I don't Twitter at all because I find the entire affair silly.
People online will scream and rant and shout the most vile things while at home gently rocking there baby to sleep after a wonderful day of vacation.
I'm much more likely to conclude that the internet instills some sort of insanity in human beings than to think people deep down believe 1/10000th of the things they say online.
Absolutely - if someone is being a dick then it's up to the group to stand back and decide whether they're comfortable with carrying on playing with that person or to have a word with them.
DeleteI think I'd like to believe that people believe 1/10000th of what they say online, but sadly I don't know how we can prove it.
I understand what you are saying about the topic being present in the artwork of the hobby. The unfortunate thing for me is that in the past five years I have only had/seen maybe 6 women in my local game store.
ReplyDelete1 Actually playing in a game I ran.
1 There to play a cc game.
3 There for board games
Heck even the meetup group I helped start has maybe 5 or 6 female members. In the case of the women playing in my rpg game I did thank her for playing. It was good to have a completely different perspective at the table.
This may be a result of the mentality of some guys, or maybe it's just because of the perceived stigma of playing RPGs etc, especially for women. I do hope this changes and we see more women frequenting game stores.
DeleteI'm lucky enough to game with a huge group of people that contains some very strong females. All of them give as well as they take, and know that any comment that could be deemed offensive has nothing to do with the fact that they're 'girl geeks', the guys are just as bad to each other. It comes from being such a close knit group of friends that what to outsiders may look mean is in fact good natured jocularity. I do still see it though.
ReplyDeleteIn smaller groups where it's been the same five guys for years, me and my partner joined in and left within a few months, just sick of the casual misogyny and not so subtle put downs. I say that all that shit needs to be put behind us. Not just genders, but sexualities and race should all just fall to the wayside; we're geeks. that's enough of a subculture without going out of our way to divide it further. I have more thoughts, but this is someone else's blog, so click away of you want to read more http://shortymonster.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/women-in-gaming-tabletop-edition/
I think if everyone's treated equally (well or badly) then that's definitely a step in the right direction. It sounds like you've got a good group.
DeleteNot sure how I do it, but I get an overall ratio of 60:40 men to women in my games. In private games, I often end up with 3:1 women to men. And I am pretty much Chainmail Chick's biggest fan in front of the women. At the same time, I always keep it in my mind that before Adventure Gaming and TV, there was the parlor game. I've noticed in many gamer circles they are much more ritualistic about things. These rituals often remove a sense of intimacy. Often the GM, the guy most often hosting the get-together, cannot have female being social without assuming that she is making a pass at him. Recently though, I've noticed a whole horde of geek women who love social-context challenged gamer dudes and their sexual neurosis so even that is getting better in terms of inclusiveness at their sessions.
ReplyDelete3:1 must be a pretty rare ratio, but it's a good one. The whole 'girl being friendly misconstrued as making a pass' is something that annoys me greatly, so I can only imagine how frustrated the woman must be.
DeleteI suppose that the fair sex in general has a handle on how to handle that. A gal who I've done plenty of drinking and carousing with had to teach me how to step back and not be her protector every time a slobbering jerk had impure thoughts towards her. Speaking specifically to the gamer-culture which tends to be an even more perilous social grouping, the women as well as the man can often be a bit inexperienced at the whole male-female dynamics. A bit of redirection works wonders towards keeping the woman around and the man feeling unchallenged.
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